The Double Cheeseburger Wars

Last night, while watching the boob tube, I saw a new commercial for Wendy’s. They have launched a new 99 Cent double meat patty cheeseburger. They are calling it the Stack Attack. This got me thinking. Has Wendy’s succumbed to the More Is Better mentality of the Fast Food Nation? Are they launching this Stack Attack because McDonald’s and Burger King are doing so well with their own double cheeseburger programs? And that’s when it hit me. Like a boulder smashing me on the forehead, I thought the inevitable marketing ploy tag, “I wonder which is better?”
Now, I am not a Fast Food person. Yes, I do like my annual Whopper (not to mention the Whopper Freakout commercials are hilarious and make me want a Whopper every time I see one)and yes, if a road trip consists of 8 or more hours of driving, there will be a cooler filled with McDonald’s cheeseburgers, but these are all habits stemmed from childhood. Whoppers were as big as your head back in my childhood days and it was a treat only given to children when Burger King would run their annual 99 Cent Whopper specials in which you had to provide a coupon. Yes, a physical coupon. McDonald’s cheeseburgers were 39 Cents and made perfect shut-the-kids-up-for-awhile-so-Dad-can-focus-on-driving vessels, only offered during family road trips. Ah, found memories. With all of that said, I thought, “Who better than to judge the Double Cheeseburger Wars than myself? A person who has a culinary background, is a culinary professional, wouldn’t be caught dead at a Fast Food drive-thru (that’s why I go late at night, in an unmarked car), and has an extremely opinionated mind?”
Let the Double Cheeseburger Wars commence! I'll aplogize ahead of time for the picture layout. something is askew.
I set out today to buy 3 Double Cheeseburgers for the foremost Fast Food Giants. The contenders would be Wendy’s Stack Attack, McDonalds Double Cheeseburger, and Burger King’s Double Cheeseburger.

I’ll not get into the service or speed of any of the establishments, because that’s not what we’re here for. I’ll be judging simply on advertising appearance versus actual appearance and taste. Shall we?
First, the new Wendy’s Stack Attack. Well, as you can see the advertised Stack Attack looks quite different from the one I got. Um, where’s the beef?
The outer bun was coated in Mayonnaise and Ketchup. At first, I thought it was grease from the patties but as tasting would tell, there was no grease. In fact, this was the driest burger I have ever put into my mouth. Now I knew what it was like to eat cardboard. Without all of the Ketchup and Mayo, I would have needed a chug of water just to get the burger down. There was one slice of cheese buried between the two very tiny patties, although you wouldn’t have known because it was that kind of cheese that evaporates when heat touches it. The bun was super soft, way too soft for a burger. I guess that’s the reason Wendy’s uses greaseless burger patties. With this bun, all you would have is a soppy mess. By the way, when did real meat come in greaseless forms?
Upon my first bite my instant reaction was, “Wow, this is really bland.” It was like the burger patties, bun, and evaporating cheese were vessels for the Mayo and Ketchup. Shouldn’t it be the other way around?
Overall, the Wendy’s Stack Attack reminded me of the burgers you got in High school. Ya know, the ones that had no flavor or moisture. You would drown them in catsup, mustard and mayo just for flavor. They came in the plastic pouch and were often used as slingshots through the cafeteria?
Wendy’s, I think the name Stack Attack is a little boisterous. Maybe, Flat Board?

Second up to bat would be Burger King’s Double Cheeseburger. Once again, my Double Cheeseburger
did not look like the advertised Double Cheeseburger. I will say that Burger King got a little closer to their advertised picture than Wendy’s did, but not much. I’ll also mention, that I did not cut this burger. It was already cut. This was strange to me. Is this a new trend Burger King will be offering? A refined Fast Food restaurant where your sandwich is cut for you? How odd.
Instantly, I noticed the sheer size difference. We found the beef.
The Burger King Double Cheeseburger was a good ¾ bigger than either competitor, but, as it should be. It costs 79 cents more than either of the other fighters.
First bite and you were brought right back to that Flame Broiled taste that Burger King has become so famous for. Two pretty good-sized beef patties, a good amount of catsup and mustard, and a slice of cheese lay melted on each patty. Every bite was consistent with the flavor of grilled meat, cheese, catsup, mustard, and white bread.
It wasn’t overly greasy. It had some grease, but meat does have fat, which does make grease when cooked.
Burger King’s Double Cheeseburger reminded me of the kind of burgers you get one someone throws a BBQ at a public park, grilling on the multi-purpose park-supplied-grill. The years of burger grease adding flavor to every BBQ to come.
I can’t believe I am going to say this. This wasn’t a bad burger. I don’t know that the double patty was necessary, seems a bit gluttonous to me, but hey, do as the Romans do.
Finally, our third matador, McDonald’s Double Cheeseburger. Okay, my Double Cheeseburger did not look anything like the advertised Double Cheeseburger. Like Wendy’s, advertisers whored up a completely different concept and tossed it out to Americans. To be expected, yes; but can’t somebody just be honest for once and not completely exaggerate the actual appearance of food for goodness sakes????? Oh, wait; I’m a food stylist. Hmm, false advertisement equals work for me. Disregard everything I just said!
The McDonalds Double Cheeseburger was very greasy. The paper was lined with grease. The bun was soaked in grease. Grease was everywhere.
It was also very heavy for a little burger. Perhaps dense is a better word. Let this puppy sit out for a while and I bet you could have a pretty hefty weapon on your side. At least we know they used real meat.
I can’t say the first bite was pleasurable or even bad. It was different. It was a burger flavor, but a flavor all to its own. Perhaps similar to the kind of burger you get at a gas station off I-10 in the middle of nowhere.
Diced onions mixed with catsup and mustard that topped two burger patties both lined with partially melted cheese. The bun, well the only purpose for the bun was to soak up the grease and to allow the eater a vessel for containing the above ingredients. That bun could probably sit on a counter uncovered during a Floridian summer and not mold for a few months.
Overall, I still don’t get the point or necessity of a double meat pattied burger, but Americans are eating them up. If I had to choose, I’d go for the more expensive Burger King Double Cheeseburger. I’d completely steer away from the Wendy’s Stack Attack and leave the McDonald’s Double Cheeseburgers for the road trips.
If I really had a choice? I’d make my own. Way better taste, way less chemicals, and way less fat. My tummy hates me right now.


Wendy’s Stack Attack: 380 calories, 20 grams of fat, weight: 135 grams
Burger King Double Cheeseburger: 570 calories, 34 grams of fat, weight: 189 grams
McDonald’s Double Cheeseburger: 440 calories, 23 grams from fat, weight: 165 grams